A Bleb in the Road

I am no stranger to breastfeeding adversity.

The uncertainty, doubt, and worry of undertaking a BFAR relationship is something I have talked about on a few occasions. Taking on a task that should come naturally when your anatomy has been augmented takes a lot of research, determination, and a lot of faith.

Even after leaking colostrum for the last weeks of my pregnancy, putting my child to breast and waiting for my milk to "come in" was still a bit of a hail marry attempt. An attempt that I had little real medical support in undertaking (that's another post altogether).

With the overwhelming success of my breastfeeding experience to date, I literally felt bullet proof, like there was nothing that could stop us now. Well, there isn't really anything that could stop us now... But there are apparently things that can give me a little more understanding for those who do give it up early.

I have a bleb. Otherwise known as a milk blister. I am not sure exactly how or when I got it, but the fact remains that nursing Oliver on my right side is becoming increasingly painful.

Thanks to twitter friends and awesome online resources like kellymom.com I know how to treat myself physically. I have started an Epsom salt and hot compress regiment, and am attempting a couple different nursing positions to alleviate the pressure a bit.

But I am unsure about how to come to terms with it emotionally.

Not the milk blister itself anyways. I mean, what is there to overcome emotionally about a milk blister? Aside from the really gross reality that I have a blister filled with breast milk bulging out of my nipple?

It's surely taken the wind out of my sales that's for sure. I find myself deterring and distracting Oliver when he wants to nurse (which I know is a big no no and can lead to other problems). Which makes me feel sad and guilty, not only am I refusing (well, delaying anyways) his comfort and nourishment, but I have never not wanted to nurse him before.

I love nursing; I would happily sit on my ass and breastfeed all day long if I could. For the closeness and bonding, it's relaxing and calming for both of us, and because it's a welcome break chasing him around the house now that he's mobile. I take pride in making milk for him. Every ounce he gains is triumphant and glorious.

But now that I am experiencing pain and discomfort I find myself not so willing to spend hours letting him come and go, playing and nursing as he pleases.

I know that the blep is temporary, but this dramatic shift it's caused in our daily routine is disconcerting. We are both put off by it, and well, it just really really sucks. For now I am trying to encourage comfort cuddling over comfort nursing, taking extra care to ensure a good latch at every feeding, and praying that this thing goes away very soon.

I wouldn't dream of weaning because of a tiny Bleb on the road, but boy is it tough to face each feeding with excitement and enthusiasm when there are problems.


I am Back!

It’s been a few weeks I know. . . I had every intention of posting pretty much the moment I got home from our vacation at the lake but then life happened. We didn’t end up getting home until very late at night, Oliver got sick, the internet was broken, and I was just too dang lazy.

But whatever, here I am, I am back, hope you liked my post about bears . . . we didn’t see any while we were away, only a billion deer, a moose, two foxes, a dead minnow, and served ourselves up for the dining pleasure of eleventy jillion mosquitoes.

because while I did manage to find a breastfeeding friendly insect repellent made from all natural essential oils and all that lovely hippie jazz the fact of the matter is that I live in Saskatchewan, the mosquitoes here are gigantic tough as nails mutant mosquitoes. They laughed in the face of my all natural essential oils. On day 3 I gave up and covered myself and my family in Deet. Fuck you environment, and the threat of cancer, I just couldn't take the buzzing or the itching any longer!

Aside from being eaten alive by bugs, we had a great time. Not only did it go well enough for me to consider tenting next time, I would love to do the cabin thing again. It was so cozy and relaxing!


Camping Bear Safe With Kids

In just two more sleeps we leave for our week long vacation in the woods of northern Saskatchewan with a friend of ours and her 2 year old. I am really excited, and as all of the week's meals come together and get frozen, camping gear gets dusted off and tested, and lists get checked and rechecked, I am also a little nervous.

Aside from a weekend music festival with friends last year and my memories of camping with my parents and younger siblings, I have never camped with small children and babies. For that reason we have opted to start the summer by cheating and staying in a cabin.

I can hear my past self from two or three years ago calling my present self a total wuss, but that's ok. My past self may have had the guts to hitch hike across the country with no money, a couple bags of trail mix, and a mickey of rum just to see Tom Petty and The Heart Breakers, but my past self didn't have anyone to worry about but herself. This year I want to start out easy.

My biggest worry about camping, or in this case simply spending a large amount of time outdoors in bear country, with small children isn't how or what to pack for a week, or if we'll have enough to eat and snack on, or what the bugs will be like. It's the fact that we will be spending so much time hiking, swimming, and playing in bear country.

Staying bear safe on your own as an adult is as second nature to me as walking and chewing gum. But children, as we all know, are crawling/walking crumb machines who give off all kinds of smells that could be potentially attractive to bears. And bears, being furry, can easily be potentially attractive to small children who think that big+furry=puppy.

Not to mention that if I get between a mama bear and her cub, mama bear is going to rip me apart. If a bear gets between me and my cub, I'll certainly do my best but I am much smaller and weaker than a bear.

So how do we go about outdoor activities that we enjoy with our kids while still keeping ourselves bear safe? I've done a lot of research and remembering how my parents dealt with it and have come up with my own list.

1) Talk to your child, in an age appropriate way, about the difference between pets and wild animals. Make sure they know that it is ok to play with and trust their own dog or cat, but that it is not ok to approach any strange animals without a parent or trusted adult present.

I am hesitant about talking to Oliver about bear safety specifics too early. When I got the bear safety talk at around the age of 10, it terrified me and camping wasn't really very fun that year. If your child has the tendency to worry or be nervous about new or different situations, it may not be helpful to put the image of tattered tents and angry hulking bears in their heads.

2) Do not allow or encourage your child to feed wild animals. Personally, I won't even let Oliver feed the local geese in town because I do not want him to learn that feeding wild animals is ok. As the bear safety guide lines on the BC Parks website state; A fed bear is a dead bear. Once an animal starts associating humans with easy food they become dangerous, there is no sure way to break that association and those animals usually need to be destroyed.

I once fed a cherry to a wild rabbit while camping and had my mother totally flip out about it. I didn't understand at the time that loving and respecting nature means leaving it to it's own devices. Bear safety isn't just best for humans, it's best for the bears!

3) Always keep your children in sight and travel or hike in groups. Bear attacks on humans are much less likely in groups for a number of reasons. The most obvious being the strength in numbers. Groups of people also tend to be noisier than a lone person. A bear who is startled is much more likely to attack, if they hear you coming most bears will high tail it away from you before you are even aware of it.

4) Tents are for sleeping, not for playing. I was originally going to make this the "no food in your tent" rule, but no playing in the tent makes more sense. Children, especially small children, snack a lot, especially if they are running around outside all day. Many children also like to snack on the go. To avoid small children forgetting to leave their food outside of the tent, or just sneaking it in there cause it's a cool place to hang out, make your tent off limits during the day time. This will also keep the bugs out of your tent by stopping the in and outs and keeping the flap closed.

5) Take a tour of your campsite. To avoid any bear attracting waste being left out, make sure your children know where it is safe to put their garbage, spit their toothpaste, go to the bathroom, and wash themselves or their dirty clothes or dishes. (Even the perfumes in disposable diapers can attract a bear so make sure you know where and how to store your garbage as well!)

6) Avoid letting your children help themselves to food or drink while camping so that you can make sure that air-tight lids are replaced properly, food stored safely, and waste disposed of properly.

7) Do not let your child throw garbage or left over food in the campfire. It seams like the ideal way to get rid of waste without having to pack it out with you, but the fact is that many plastics and food waste do not burn away completely and even the smallest amount of garbage left smoldering in your fire pit can attract a bear.

8) Give your child a loud emergency whistle or other noise maker to carry with them. To be honest, I though it was really lame to wear a big orange whistle around my neck on vacation, but I understand now why it was necessary. Make sure your child knows to only blow the whistle in an emergency. If your child gets lost, he or she should sit down and blow the whistle long and loud until someone comes to get them.

Sources vary on whether or not it is wise to have your child blow the whistle if they see a bear. Some say (and I was always told) that blowing the whistle or yelling, or making other loud noises will scare the bear away from you. Others say that the loud or sudden noise may infuriate the bear into attacking. I would personally tell my child to blow the whistle, if it doesn't scare the bear away I guess I would at the very least be alerted and have the chance to throw myself between my child and the bear.

In general if you are planning to spend any outdoor time in bear country I encourage you to do your own research! Plan ahead to find solutions to fit your specific situation, and make sure you know at least a little bit about all of the animals you may encounter on your adventures.

For more information about bear safety:

BC Parks

Canada Trails

Ursus International

Be Bear Aware Colouring Book (PDF) - This one is directed to children who live in the Yukon, but has valuable information that every kid should know. It's pretty blunt in some areas so reading through it before you print is best to make sure it will not scare your child. My personal favourite parts are the bear bums and human bums, the dead cartoon moose with X's for eyes, and the part where they tell children not to play near garbage dumps. . . Do many children in the Yukon play in garbage dumps?


Beautiful Blogger Award

I have been given a Beautiful Blogger Award by Jennifer over at Connected Mom!

The rules are really very simple: 1) link to the person who nominated you, 2) tell 7 things about yourself people might not know 3) nominate 15 more beautiful bloggers!

Before you read the 7 super-duper interesting things about me, go check out the Connected Mom Blog! Jennifer writes about many of the things I love like breastfeeding, baby wearing, and natural and attachment parenting. She is TEH awesome!

1) When I was a little girl I wanted more than anything to be a marine biologist when I grew up. I made this decision living on the bald Canadian Prairie having never even seen the ocean with my own eyes. When I finally did see the ocean I still loved it and everything in it, but realized that I was far too frightened of it to go any further than ankle deep and would probably not enjoy a career than involved actually getting IN the ocean.

2) I recently took up the Ukulele. I always thought that I could be a really musical person. Never mind that I never really learned to play an instrument, and was rarely given any choir or musical theatre solos in school, I was convinced that I possessed the hidden talent to be a rock star. As it turns out the best way to test ones musical acuity is to try tuning an instrument by ear. . . I just can't do it. I can play several simple Ukulele tunes, but I need Das Piper to tune my instrument for me every time.

4) Despite my long time Vegetarianism, when I was pregnant I craved stove-top turkey stuffing. I did my best to ignore this craving. Not only was I set in my decision to remain vegetarian throughout my pregnancy, I also knew that introducing that amount of pure sodium into my system would be asking for trouble. I finally gave in around my second trimester. I had been so sick that I simply convinced myself that it wouldn't really be eating it if I was just going to throw it up again within the hour. . . I ate the whole box, on several occasions. . . and ya know what? Not only did I develop a pretty bad case of preclampsia late in my third trimester, but IT WAS DELICIOUS!

5) I have to touch the car window every time we drive over train tracks. There are several reasons why that I have some up with in my head, but the fact is I just have to, there is no good reason.

6) FRINGE SPOILER ALERT! I don't believe that the Walternate is trying to build a machine to close the holes between our universe and the alternate universe, I think he is building a weapon to take over and occupy our universe when the alternate is destroyed.

7) When I was pregnant with Oliver, Das Piper and I had already settled on a different name for him. We were going to name him Duncan. 4 months before he was born I was at the grocery store and realized that with that name his full name would sound very similar to a brand of instant cake mix. . . I contemplated not saying anything and using our original name anyways. . . I am pretty sure just contemplating giving a kid such a ridiculous name makes me a pretty terrible person.

Ok, there you have it, 7 random things about me that you may or may not have known. I know what you're thinking, you're thinking "How does she know what I am thinking?" and after that you're thinking, "This woman is really quite boring". So here are 15 bloggers who are much more interesting than I am that I would like to pass the beautiful blogger award on to!

1)Breastfeeding Moms Unite
3)Bloomy Mommy
4)Beatnik’s beat on life
5)Chaotic Mama
7)Brisbane to Brooklyn
8)Abigail’s Road To Nowhere
9)I am the Diva
10)Accustomed to Chaos
11)Feminist Breader
14) Tori Klassen
15)Hobo mama