9.26.2007

safe sex and german engineering


OMG CSi was right!
so now that my entire understanding of the universe has done a one eighty, and i've come to terms with it. . .

as everyone who knows me knows, i have the biggest hard-on ever for cheesy crime drama and zombies. . . not necessarily in that order or at the same time(though that would be hot). . . . but i digress, my point is that not everything they show on CSI is bogus, featured on tonight's season premier of CSI: New York. . . this amazing new feat of German engineering (see image f-me69)


that's right people, safe sex can now be brought to you in a nifty looking aerosol can! and of coarse by safe i mean hasn't quite been tested to any sort of standards and is not yet available to consumers. . .

i just have to say that i have a whole new respect for German scientists, who, it seams, have moved past the personal get pack pipe-dream and have started focusing on something useful!

but it gets better!
while this new invention is currently being marketed as an aerosol can, there is apparently talk about an 'all encompassing' design. . . i got this quote from a questionably reputable source (aka some condom consultant)

"It works by spraying on latex from nozzles on all sides," he said. "We call it the '360 degree procedure' - once round and from top to bottom. It's a bit like a car wash."

apparently this design has something to do with inserting the penis into a pressurized container of some sort. . . i don't have a penis, but if i did, not only would it be the biggest in the world, but i am not sure i would want it inserted into anything with a 'contents under pressure' warning on it.

what i like most about the current can design is that if a guy absolutely insists on not wearing protection, the can itself is conveniently shaped for proving just how much you don't care about his pleasure.

further questions of interest: 1) does it wash off? peal off? i am curious about that. 2) wouldn't there be some sort of health ramifications for the sexual partner if it didn't dry completely before penetration? i mean honestly, could you really make some drunk guy wait a minute to let it dry when it's hard enough to convince them to stop and put on a real condom in the first place? more trouble than it's worth i am thinkin! 3) does it come flavoured? ribbed for her pleasure? or any of the other traditional condom styles?

i would like to point out at this juncture in time that i am aware that i giggle way too much at matters of sexual health. (see previous post on action packed pregnancy testing)

3 comments:

wench said...

the shape of the can, though not Rock Chick sheik looks to usableat least. stick and peel intead of peel and stick? what about scratch & sniff? what is the limit of it's expandability - can you put it on while the dick is stil soft, semi soft etc? will it wear off in your boxers if you put it on before you go out for a pick up? how many applications come in the can and does it have it own contact lubricant?so the future "all encompassing" design would be like a portable spray tanning booth - hmm yeah those are just dandy. you go guys and keep trying.

Notes for the writer:
"who, it seams, have moved " should be "seems"

i am the diva said...

yeah....

so many questions left unanswered!

I'd be most interested in thy dry time and hardness of the cock question.

wench said...

IT"S ALMOST A MONTH _ WHAT ARE YOU DOING _ YES I KNOW I"M YELLING> MISS YOU!!!!