4.01.2009

A Tiny Heart

"It's alive!"

That is what my doctor proclaimed with a laugh as a water-like 'whooshing' came through the static and surrounded me.

"whoosh-whoosh whoosh-whoosh whoosh-whoosh"

I immediately forgot my carefully drawn up list of questions, and the indignity I always feel talking to someone who had just shown me the business end of a speculum.

"Whoosh-whoosh whoosh-whoosh whoosh-whoosh"

I made a sound, somewhere between a laugh and a sob that came from somewhere deep in my stomach causing the doctor's hand to slip.

"whoosh-whoosh whoosh-woo. . . "

I vaguely remember him rattling off some numbers immediately followed by the word 'normal' as he wiped the gel from his equipment and put it away.

I barely remember leaving the office, or going for dinner, or telling friends and family about what we'd heard by trying to recreate the whooshing with my vocal cords.

It's real now.

I have, at the very least, if not a baby, then a tiny heart growing in my abdomen.

6 comments:

dk said...

Pretty weird but cool, and joyous and terrifying all at once hey? You'll be such a great mom darlin'.

Wait till its foot sticks out so you can see the outline - that really freaked me out...

Malcolm+ said...

I was wondering how to refer to my grandthingee, given that we don't know which sort of grandthingee s/he will be.

Now I know - my grandheart.

And if my grandheart is at all like my daughter, then it won't be a tiny heart at all.

Schmutzie said...

Oh, seriously. Malcolm+'s comment has me weepy. I'm so happy for you guys!

Malcolm+ said...

Schmutzie has gone all schmaltzy?

Crunchy Carpets said...

It is the freakiest sound ever....and the most reassuring sound ever.

Wait till you have the picture of your peanut...

Malcolm+ said...

BTW, BabaJam like the nomenclature of "Little Heart" and "grandheart."