Lessons I've Learned in the Last 48 Hours

1) Reading outside in your fancy new deck chair in your sexy chunky fashionable sunglasses for three hours without changing position in the slightest does not make the most even sunburn in the world.

2) If you use your hard earned tax return that was WAY more than you thought it would be to buy your partner a fancy new barbecue instead of paying down your debt like a responsible person would have and call it an early father's day gift, the baby gets the credit from that moment forward, there is simply no convincing him otherwise.

3) One should refrain from laughing at jokes about cars when the next words out of your mouth will inevitably prove that you are a silly hippie who doesn't know the first thing about any form of transportation that is not your dirty smelly hippie feet. . . It will only cause embarrassment.