I Covet Cheese!

Pocket Buddha: I want a cheese pizza.

Das Piper: oh?

Pocket Buddha: well, actually, I want a pound of melted cheese dipped in ranch sauce. . . But I can put up with a crust because it would make it easier to eat.

Das Piper: It's nice to see that you think these things out before you demand them.

Update 2 hours later:

As it turns out. . .Pizza Hut actually offers a pound of melted cheese with ranch dipping sauce conveniently folded over in pizza crust so that it is easy to eat. . . like a big old pound of cheese sandwich.

I walked 3 blocks. . . outside. . . Where people could see me. . . In yoga pants that were too short for me and a hooded sweatshirt that was 3 sized too big and not entirely clean to get this pound of cheese sandwich.

One woman was so disgusted with me that she could not contain her reaction and took her toddler to wait outside rather than stand next to me in line.

Then I ate the entire thing while watching Jon and Kate Plus 8 with my big stretch marked gut hanging out.

I am officially too pregnant to care what you think!


dk said...

You are officialy too hilarious too read read while eating my morning muf - hack choke spit bran bits on screen - in.

We could add a couple of inches of groovy hippie fabric to the bottom of the yoga pants darlin'.

Schmutzie said...

So being pregnant is also kind of like being a drunken frat boy?