Micheal Jackson Is Dead

Really? . . . Are you sure? . . . Was a stake driven into his heart? Or a silver bullet of some kind used?

My theory. . . Somewhere in the fine print on those tickets for the 50 show tour he was supposedly going to do . . . There is a clause that fans cannot get their money back if the show is canceled due to the prince's death. . . He's not really dead, he's just living on an island somewhere with a bunch of fresh money. That way he doesn't have to remove the mask and show the world that, in fact, his entire face has fallen off.

Thank you MJ, for your contribution to music. I am sorry that you had to be so fucked up in the process that your more recent behaviour makes it hard for me to do anything but make jokes about your death. I really do wish that your career had brought you the same joy that it did thousands of others. If it had we could have avoided such heart breaking incidents as baby dangling and other varying degrees of inappropriate behaviour in regards to young children.